For a while I forgot I had a blog. Today I realized I miss posting. I realized that it’s been over a year since my last post and over three since I posted daily.
So I’ve deleted all my reviews and im hoping to pick back up on this.
In the past year I’ve moved twice, had a shitty job, quit and now I have an awesome job. I volunteer with the local fire department. Our family lost three but grew by one. And I’m happy. At least I think I am.
Depression seems to creep in and out of my life. As of late I’ve noticed it sitting in my dark corners. I work nights at my job so my old habit of staying up all night then sleeping all day is sort of a normal experience for me now. It’s really hard to have any social interaction when prime movie and dinner time also falls under prime sleep so you can stay up all night time. Eventually friends stop asking to hang out.
Life is pretty lonely when you work the midnight shifts. I work in a senior home so I get to see the residents but I come home and seclude myself. I see Jarrod for a couple of hours a day. Most of my day is spent sleeping. I’ll get up to make him food but I go back to bed after dinner. I’m pretty sure I’m sleeping too much but I’m exhausted if I don’t sleep before work. I’m scared if I talk to a doctor about it they will tell me to get off the nights. But I couldn’t work day shift. I used to and it was okay, I was happy. But there has been an abundance of childish drama lately and I dont want to get dragged into the middle of it. And I know those at the center of it would drag me into it. Just thinking about it gives me anxiety.
I miss seeing Jarrod more and daylight and social interaction but I love nights. Even though nights enables me to section myself off from the rest of the world.
I can’t think of much more to say in this post so I guess I’ll write more tomorrow.