In which Andrea should be in bed…

So i was laying in bed, half asleep, thinking (more like worrying) about my future. I know that it seems stupid to write a blog at two o’clock in the morning when you have to work in seven hours. But I just got this overwhelming need to talk to someone about this. And I couldnt think of anyone to talk to who would be awake or be able to tell me what I wanted to hear. So I was silently moping when I thought of my blog and I got up and started typing.

 

Im scared of my future. Mainly the future I dont know about. I have a plan I want the plan to work, but what if it dosnt? What if my plan sucks? What if the people involved all of a sudden decide they hate me and BAM my plan has backfired? There are a million “what ifs” running through my mind at 1:51am. Mostly Im thinking about how I wont live at home anymore. How I wont have that familiar-ness. How I know where everything belongs *including myself* and where everything fits and how it should look and how it should feel. Im scared I’m going to miss that. Im scared I’m going to miss my family. Im scared Im not going to be able to handle being out on my own. Im taking a huge step. I have two to four months to take a huge step. Im only 19 almost 20. I know that most people were out on their own by this time in their lives. But I dont know how Im going to do it. I know I want to. I know it has to happen eventually. I just dont know how. I dont even know if this makes sense. This is me half asleep rambeling to no one in particular in a blog at 2am.

Im not sure if I’m expecting answers. I just feel really lost and scared and I wanted to tell someone about that. This was the closest thing I could come to.

 

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One thought on “In which Andrea should be in bed…

  1. well first off there’s stress related to
    1. moving out
    2. going to school
    3. applying for a loan etc and being accepted (still not sure if jarrods able to get in or not)
    as well family is your support group and when you take that away you can feel frustrated and stressed but being an adult means making those hard adult choices and NO ONE can make the decisions. Its something you have to do, whether or not your parent(s) agree or not or tell you that the choice is wrong…YOU have to make the mistakes in life to learn from and that is what makes you the person you will be
    as well, studies show that if you are from a lower income family and want to get out of that, then sadly, you have to cut most of the ties to your family as that is what tends to pull you down (not sure why, and not sure if I can even google it and find out the info again LOL)
    and life goes on, and some things are quite out of our control (myself I am looking forward to buying all new stuff for myself whilst jarrod gets all the old stuff when he moves out LOL)

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